365 Shades Of Black
by Iris Musicia
Summary: Iggy and Ella love each other, but Ella decides not to see him any more. Iggy might just be crazy enough to commit suicide - or does he love Ella more? Eggy, R
1. Starry Night

**365 Shades of Black**

I woke up, sometime in the night. I couldn't tell when, but I knew it was late, because I could hear Max snoring. She snores around 2:30 am, so I thought it was around that time.

"Iggy?" Angel's voice came from across the room. I turned my head that way, and leveled my eyes where I thought her face was.

"Why are you up, Angel?" I asked her.

"I couldn't sleep. I was just watching the stars – not that you can see them, here in Mexico City."

"Yeah . . ." I trailed off. I'd never seen stars in my life. The whitecoats at the School had taken me for an experiment to try to improve my night vision, but it had left me blind. The last thing I saw before my world went black forever was Max's face, anxious and young, staring at me through the bars of her tiny greenish dog cage.

If you're wondering what I'm talking about, here's my life and the flock's in about two seconds: we're avian-human hybrids, two percent avian, ninety-eight percent human. We have wings, and we can fly, and the rest of the flock has raptor vision. I can feel colors, but it's still not the same as seeing them. The flock is Max, the leader; Fang, Max's boyfriend; Angel, six-year-old telepath, and fish-whisperer; Nudge, the chatterbox; the Gasman, aka Gazzy, who can imitate any sound perfectly and um, well—uh, make an unholy scent . . .; and me, Iggy, the blind guy who can feel colors.

We were in a nice hotel in Mexico City with the CSM, the Coalition to Stop the Madness, an organization about environmental awareness started by Max's mom, Dr. Valencia Martinez, a vet, and Max's dad, Jeb Baldetcher, a former whitecoat-turned-good-guy-turned-bad-guy-turned-good-guy-again. I was sharing a bed with Gazzy, Angel was with Max, Fang was on his own, and so was Nudge. Nudge kicked in her sleep, and Fang was just Fang, and had gotten his own bed.

"Angel? Iggy? What are you doing up?" That was Max, now fourteen years old, just like me and Fang. Nudge was eleven, Gazzy, eight, and Angel, six. I tried not to think about how pretty Max was now that she was older; or at least I tried not to think about it around Angel.

"I was looking at the stars, then Iggy woke up." Angel said to Max.

_I know you like her, Iggy. It's too bad Fang and her already _love_ each other._ That was Angel, ever so helpfully reading my thoughts at the worst time. I felt myself blush, and I'm sure Max noticed.

"What's up, Ig?" she noticed.

"Nothing," I said, and closed my eyes. Not that it mattered. It was still the same shade of black. No matter what I did, it was always black. Black 365 days of the year. Black when it was sunny. Black when it snowed. Every day, black, black, black.

Like 365 shades of black.

It never became grey, I never felt some of the darkness go away when the sun warmed my face. I could open my eyes as wide as possible and look right at the sun, and it would still be pitch black. It really got depressing. That's why I like explosions. At least I can feel the heat of the fireball, hear the sonic boom, sense the shockwave as it knocks me a little. Explosions are good.

"God, it's already 6! I am so off," Max looked at her alarm clock. So much for the 2:30 theory. Just goes to show you how much it sucks to be blind. I heard Max jump out of bed and grab Nudge. She went around to wake up Gazzy. I rolled out of bed and felt around for my clothes. I yanked on my jeans and a T-shirt. I was about to shove my shoes on when the windows exploded inwards, throwing Angel into my arms. This time, it wasn't a good explosion.


	2. Ella

**Chapter 2**

The explosion sent shards of glass flying, and a couple sliced my face. I held Angel tight, turning my back to the shattered glass. I heard chopper blades and didn't smell that distinct smell that gunpowder or a fueled explosion leaves behind, so I assumed the chopper's blades caused the windows to implode.

The next moment, I felt something hot and sharp hit me right in my lower back, dead on the spine. I collapsed, but still held Angel tight.

_Iggy! They shot you! Are you OK?!_ Angel screamed into my mind.

_If you say I've been shot, and the pain's coming from my spine, that's not a good thing, any way you slice it._ I thought back. Suddenly, the world just disappeared. It didn't go black, but it went colorful. I was like, above the scene, watching from the ceiling or something.

I saw me, clutching Angel, an ugly hole in my back. The me on the floor with Angel had no way of realizing there were men in the helicopter, one with a lethal-looking piece of metal. That's right. A gun. Max was whipping her wings out, and _god_! She was gorgeous! I had missed so much all those years!

Her hair was long and brown, and clean for once. Her face was beautiful, and also clean. Her wings were cream, brown, tan and just stunning. Across the room, Fang was landing a hard punch on a half-human looking robot. Fang was dark. It was almost like Fang was the only one who hadn't gotten color. His hair was black, his eyes were black, his clothes were dark, and his wings were so deeply black, they were almost purple or blue. His face was stony, but his eyes betrayed rage.

Nudge and Gazzy were leaping up, covered in blood and slices from the glass knives. They already had their wings out. They were diving for the bathroom, a window they could escape from. Max dove out, freefalling until she was out of the 'copter's downdraft. Fang made a quick escape too. Angel freed herself from the other me's arms and pulled out her pure, snow white wings.

She looked torn between leaving me there. I was obviously unconscious. The man with the gun pulled the trigger. Faster than I could see, the bullet sped toward Angel. Centimeters from her face, it stopped. Dead stopped. In midair, it just hung there. Everything froze. The bang and flash from the guy's gun froze. The chopper froze. They guys and the robot froze. Even Max, soaring upwards behind the black machine froze. Everybody but Angel froze.

I gasped and opened my eyes. No sight. What a surprise.

"Angel?"

"Iggy? Are you OK?" Angel was bent over me. I could feel her breath. I rolled onto my side.

"No. I hurt and I'm probably paralyzed from the waist down."

"But you can still fly, right?" She was worried.

"I guess," Angel grabbed my arms and helped me up. Sure enough, I couldn't feel my legs, and they collapsed under me.

"Iggy! You have to fly! I can't freeze the world any longer!" Angel started panicking. I opened my wings, my 16 foot wings, and crawled to the window. Angel helped me over the sill. I plummeted down, then my wings billowed and caught air. I soared up, just as the chopper's blades began beating the air again. It felt awkward, my legs dangling uselessly as I flew.

I came up on Max, and grabbed her belt loop. I assumed she looked back, because I heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Iggy! What happened?" She shouted back at me.

"I was shot in the spine. I'm paralyzed from the waist down." Suddenly, a burning pain shot through my whole back and wings. They stopped working, and I raced down, beyond rescue. We weren't very high up, and I was too big for Max or Fang to carry. I was a hundred feet above the ground. I heard people scream. I heard the wind whistling in my ears. I heard Max shouting my name.

"IGGY!! Iggy! Stop!" Her hands were on my shoulders, shaking me. My eyes snapped open uselessly. It was still black. Whoop-de-do for black. I don't get why Fang's so obsessed with it.

"I'm dead! Stop!" Knee-jerk reaction.

"No, you're not! Pull your wings in. You're killing us all. You were flapping your wings like you were flying, and you gave Gazzy some bad bruises. Wake up!" Max slapped my face. I bolted upright in my bed, at Dr. Martinez's house. I reached out and felt up Max's arms. She was tense, and definitely mad. I pulled my wings in, arranging them against my spine. My spine! I felt up and down it. No bullet holes. All good.

I shuffled out of bed and into the kitchen. I smelled pancakes, and assumed either Ella or Dr. Martinez was making them.

"Hey Iggy!" Definitely Ella's voice. Ella. I love that name. I was already such good friends with Ella that I knew her by touch. I stretched, and even stretched my wings too, even though I just had them out. I knew Ella loved my wings. Dr. Martinez did too, because I had the biggest wings, she was fascinated with the feather size ratio or some stuff like that.

I reached my hand out, and touched Ella's arm. I pulled her into a bear hug. She squealed and laughed. I heard the Gasman walk in. I could imagine his mouth dropping when he saw me hugging Ella. I smiled and let Ella go.

"Wow," he said.

"Breakfast's ready!" Ella said. She handed me a plate of pancakes. She gave each of the flock a huge helping of breakfast as they came into the kitchen. Once we were all sitting around the breakfast bar, Ella sat down with her much smaller portion of the pancakes.

"So where's Mom?" Max asked.

"She had to go into the clinic early. Some emergency with a cat or something. I heard a lot of noise in there earlier. What happened?" Ella asked conversationally as I cut my pancakes up.

"Iggy had a nightmare. He was apparently flying and falling. Kept flapping his wings, and hit me in the face like ten times. Then he started yelling about death and black." Gazzy said, an edge of annoyance creeping into his voice.

"Oh. If I had wings, I would be really scared of falling, too." Ella said.

"I'm not scared of falling, it's just that I was shot in the back. I was paralyzed, and couldn't move my wings." I said defensively. I didn't want the flock thinking I was scared of falling or anything like that.

"For someone who was paralyzed, you were flapping an awful lot." There's Fang, always quietly pointing out the flaws of life.

"Thanks. You try having that dream and see if you're not scared." I snarled at Fang. I could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

"Guys, quit it! Iggy, you're about to knock your milk over." Ella said, pulling my arm back.

"Sorry." I said, blushing. I pulled my arm back and went back to spearing my pancakes and eating them.

"Okay guys, we've got a busy day of new choreography for the air show ahead of us. Be ready in ten." Max said around a mouthful of pancake, sounding incredibly German. I snorted into my milk as Gazzy imitated her perfectly, nailing the accent.


	3. Love Sucks Majorly

**Chapter 3**

After breakfast, we went outside, into Dr. Martinez's backyard. Ella stood and watched us as we unfurled our wings and took to the skies. It felt so good to be up in the air, the sky, which I was told by everyone was blue. Too bad I couldn't feel the sky, to see exactly what color blue it was. Fang stayed close to me, telling me exactly what to do, like when we rocketed up and split into a big, six-pointed star, Fang said,

"Straight up, then backwards at six o'clock. Then stay there." I did what he said.

"Okay, guys, now here's the new stuff. Gazzy, you're the star of this new stuff. Everybody grab someone, except Gazzy. Hold hands and form an arch. Make sure you don't hit each other's wings. No, no! Hold the person across from you. That's right! Gazzy, you know how to do a barrel roll, right? Corkscrew, you know? OK, good!" Max yelled to the flock as Fang told me where to hover. I grabbed Nudge's hands and she guided my arms into an arch with hers. I could feel the breeze from the downstroke of Max's wings next to me. That meant either Fang or Angel was with her. Knowing Max, it was Fang.

"What am I going to do, Max?" Angel called.

"You wait at the end of the tunnel. When the Gasman shoots out, you two grab hands and dive as fast as you can. As close to the ground as you can safely get, break apart and come back up. Then, we're going to arrange ourselves in size order in a stack, Angel highest and Iggy on the bottom. Go, go GO!" Max yelled. I could feel Gazzy pass under my arms, and heard the clap as his and Angel's hands met up. Suddenly, everybody was rearranging themselves, above me.

I reached up and touched a heavy boot. Fang. I could assume Max was above him, and Nudge above her, and Gazzy above her, and finally Angel at the top. I could hear Fang grumbling almost silently. He had a weird thing about people flying above him. Dunno what his problem was.

"Awesome, you guys! That's it. We'll do some more tomorrow. Go do whatever." Max dismissed us. I coasted down, knowing the Martinez's property so well I didn't need Fang whispering directions in my ear.

I landed, my shoes touching grass. I heard Ella push the patio chair back off to my left, so I headed that way.

"After watching all that, I have to ask you: how do you know where to go and when to do it? I would hate being blind. I would just feel so helpless and, well, _blind_. I don't know how you do it!" Ella said as I came nearer, shaking my wings out. They were hot from the exercise. It was a cold November morning, so I wrapped them around myself for a second, enjoying the warmth. You know, up in the air, we can't wear really bulky jackets or coats because we wouldn't be able to fly well. Let me tell you: a flimsy windbreaker just doesn't cut it. I was freezing.

"What's up, Ig?" That was Gazzy.

"Nothing. I was just cold, that's all." I said back.

"Oh." Gazzy walked past me and Ella, slamming the sliding glass door behind him. Ella and I were alone on the patio now. I pulled Ella toward me, encasing both of us in my wings.

"I have a sixth sense," I joked.

"Really?" I could almost see Ella's hopeful and incredulous face.

"Nah, it's just I have Fang telling me the exact directions, like 'go straight up and backward at six o'clock'."

"You say stuff like ten o'clock and twelve o'clock? Just like in the cop films? Cool!"

"I guess you could say it's cool, but it sucks _majorly_ not being able to see you. Not being able to see your beautiful face." I said, cupping her chin in my hand. Don't say this isn't wrong. There's only seven months difference (give or take) in our ages. I'm just really tall.

Next thing I knew, she came up on tiptoes and kissed me. Not just like a fleeting peck, but a real, good kiss. I kissed her back, still holding her chin. She put her hand on my cheek and tilted her head. So there we were, kissing together in my warm wings when – guess who! – _Dr. Martinez_ walks out onto the patio.

I heard the door open, and instantly pulled my wings in and stepped away from Ella. I blushed, and I think Ella did too.

"Oh! I'm sorry – I thought I left Magnolia's leash out here." She apologized, walking over to the table next to me. I heard the clink of the metal clip against the glass surface. She left, and closed the door behind her.

"Sorry about my mom," Ella said quietly.

"It's okay," I whispered, pulling Ella into my arms again. This time, I kissed her. She didn't kiss me back, so I let her go. I put a hand on her face, and felt a tear. "What's wrong?"

"It just won't work out. I have a boyfriend at school, and you're just, well . . . you . . ." she trailed off.

"Is it my wings? My blindness? My height?" I asked, concerned, because I didn't want Ella to cry. I didn't like to have her sad.

"We'll never be able to see each other again, once you leave. I don't want you to leave, Iggy. I love you," she said. She walked inside, leaving me very confused, standing on the patio.

I sighed and went inside the warm house, feeling my way down the hall to the room me and the Gasman were sharing. I flopped down on my bed, kicking the door closed with my foot. At six feet tall, the bed was way too short for me. As a consequence, my legs dangled off the edge of the bed. I pulled my wings out and wrapped them around my arms and face. I felt safe, encased in feathers. But feathers didn't stop Fang from opening the door silently and sitting on Gazzy's bed so quietly, even I didn't hear him.

"I saw Ella come in. She was crying." He said, startling me. I pulled my wings back so they were still out, but not covering my face. I sat up.

"Yeah, well, that's not your concern, is it?" I snapped and lay back down. Me and Fang just weren't getting along today.

"Actually it is. What happened out there, Iggy?" Fang asked. I composed my face, then decided I didn't want to. I covered my face again.

"Ella just got upset. She wanted to talk to me." I said, my voice muffled by a mouthful of feathers.

"What did she want to talk to you about?" He pressed on.

"Nothing, man. Drop it." I frowned into my secondary feathers.

"I get it. Love sucks, let me tell you." Fang got up and left.


	4. Deepest Sleep

**Chapter 4**

The rest of the week, I avoided Ella. I would hear her walking down the hall, and I would switch direction, heading either back to my room or the backyard. Fang told me she didn't come to watch the practice for the air shows any more. I got really depressed. I mean, I loved Ella. I truly did. Having to stay away from her like this – it was killing me. Until, one night, Angel and Max cornered me. I was lying on my bed in me and Gazzy's room, in my little safe haven of feathers when they knocked on the door and walked in.

"Hey, Iggy. Mind if we talk to you?" Max asked tentatively. Obviously Fang had told her that I was depressed.

"Sure. Yap all you want. I'm just brain dead." That reply was one I had learned from Fang, great for killing the conversation. However, Max continued, undeterred, with the force of a steam locomotive.

"No, Ig. You don't get it. We, the flock, are worried about you. Mom is. Even Ella is, too. We all know you're depressed, but no one knows why. Ella seems to know, but she doesn't think about it around Angel, and she won't open up. Seriously. What's bugging you?"

"Nothing. Except maybe the fact that I'm _blind_ and my romantic life _sucks_ and we never do _anything_ except the CSM work. Maybe I'm bored. Maybe I wish I was normal. _Maybe_ I wish I wasn't a _mutant freak_! Is that a good enough reason to be depressed, Maximum Ride?!" I shouted into my wing, tears starting to well up in my useless, unseeing eyes. "Damn those stupid whitecoats! Damn genetic experimentation! Damn _you_, Max, for letting me live! Damn the whole world!" Yeah, I could yell damn all I wanted, but nothing would change the fact that I was a blind mutant freak.

_This is for you Angel. Just so you'll get off my back and leave me freaking alone! Me and Ella, we love each other. But Ella doesn't think it will work out. She said we couldn't see each other anymore, and now we're both depressed. Happy? Go run off and tell Max, and the whole world will rejoice. The blind kid spilled his guts! We know why he's depressed! Hooray! Let's have a freaking barbecue! Now LEAVE ME ALONE! _I rolled over on my side, and let the tears roll down my face. I felt Max put a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. Angel murmured something to her, and she said something back. I heard the bedsprings on Gazzy's bed creak as they stood up. They were leaving. Finally.

Before I rolled on my back again, they were suddenly sitting on _my_ bed, both their hands on my shoulders, attempting to roll me onto my back to talk to my face. I was stronger than they were, combined, so I stayed solid as a rock, until Max whispered,

"Iggy, I know you love Ella. We can stay here, and it will all work out. If you want it to. It's your choice." I fell limp, my brain not functioning anymore. Suddenly, I sat up and bolted out the open door, throwing them to the floor. I smelled gunpowder as I ran toward the back door, and knew Gazzy was blowing stuff up. Probably with Fang. I shoved the door open, and took to the skies. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew it was somewhere far, far, far away.

"IGGY!!" I heard a few faint calls, and knew that if they really wanted me back, they'd come after me. But they let me go. I flew and flew. I couldn't land, because I didn't know the terrain. I could find my way back to Dr. Martinez's house if I really wanted to, but I didn't.

Eventually, I heard water rushing beneath me. It was after dark, because it was so much colder now. I was, once again, freezing cold.

_Nothing in my life is ever going to be right. That doesn't mean that everything in death will be wrong . . . maybe if I drowned, it would be easy . . ._ I folded my wings and dropped into the water, which was surprisingly and thankfully warm. I was dead tired. The tiredness suppressed all my instincts to swim. I felt a warm, safe, restful sensation overwhelming me. I let it come. It was the way to a better place.


	5. Hell's Depths

**Chapter 5**

I rang the doorbell and stood back as my mother threw open the door with a cry of joy.

"James! You're home!" She rushed forward and hugged me. My father stood in the doorway, tall, lean, and strawberry blond like me. I stepped inside and made my way into the kitchen. I pulled out a plate and some lunchmeat.

"I just can't believe you're home, James," my father walked into the room behind me.

"Yeah, well, I decided it was time for a change. I got tired of my old life." I said, taking a big bite of my sandwich. My dad walked away and turned the TV on. I heard the news anchor jabbering about unimportant stuff.

"There has been one suicide in the Arizona area . . . an unidentified teenager was found in the Colorado River late last night—" my dad turned it off quickly.

"Too depressing, most of the time." He explained with a grin like my own. I ran upstairs, taking the steps two by two. I went into my room, plastered with Air Force and Nirvana posters. My favorite poster was one of the F-14 Tomcat. It was in mid-dive, opening fire on an enemy cruiser out on the ocean. The Air Force was cool. Flying was cool.

I went into my bathroom and turned the shower on. The water felt really good and hot. After the shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and was going out into my room to pull on a pair of sweats and a comfy t-shirt when I saw something on my back. I turned and rubbed the fog off the mirror. My back was smooth and tan, and that mark—was it my birthmark? I squinted closely. Yeah, just my birthmark.

I pulled on my old grey sweatpants, which were almost three inches too short for me. Whatever. They were soft. My Nirvana t-shirt had a bunch of holes near the hem, but, like the pants, whatever. Suddenly, someone knocked softly on my door.

"Come in, mom." I called, flipping through my CDs. When I turned around, it wasn't my mom. It was Ella. I straightened up. She came up to me, undeterred by my glare, and kissed me full on the lips. Just as I was about to kiss her back, she pulled away and walked out my door down the hallway. "Ella!" I yelled after her.

I dashed out into the hallway, to find it dark and cold. Where were my mom and dad? I followed Ella down the hall, doors flashing past as I ran. No matter how loudly I yelled her name or how fast I sprinted, Ella was always a step ahead of me, not looking back, or giving any indication that she heard me. "Ella!" I called again, desperation coloring my voice. Rain and shards of glass came flying down the hallway. Gale force winds sent me stumbling into the walls. The glass sliced my face, went through my shirt and pants, and made me bleed. I reached a hand out to Ella as I tripped and fell, landing on my knees. A dagger of glass embedded itself in the crook of my elbow.

I gasped and grabbed at my arm, tears from the pain sliding down my cheeks. I huddled into a ball and new pain shot through me. Wings – extensions of pain on my back – were now collecting tiny fragments of glass until they looked like they had been crystallized. They burned, like fire. I beat them , scratching the walls and dislodging the little splinters. No matter what I did, how much I cried, or how tightly I curled into a ball, I still felt pain all over. I felt pain on the inside. My heart of hearts was ready to explode with the overwhelming agony.

I screamed and another huge, pain-bringing shard drove itself into my wrist. My tears were hot, but dry. They gave no rest to the internal pain I felt. Nothing did. Nothing could soothe this fire, nothing could quench this thirst, nothing could warm this biting frost, nothing could stop the storm.

I don't know how long I was there, in that pain, in that hell, but it was so long. No savior came for me. I resigned myself to the pain, but still it came. Max had been right: pain is a message, a message of death, a message of extreme wrong, a message of personal apocalypse.

I sat, soaked, hurting, crying until my eyes ran dry, crying until my soul almost broke. A blast of cold, driving, icy, shard-filled wind knocked me over, onto my back. I had no energy to fight back. I had no energy at all, none left to cry. I sobbed and sobbed, but they were dry and emotionless. It was just an instinct, now, just something to do.

"Please, God, I did nothing wrong! Save me! Help me! FORGIVE ME, GOD!" I screamed. Sharp, icy manacles had formed around my body, my arms, legs, and wings. The hell and the pain were taking my sight. I blinked more often, and found it fading to dim greys. I closed my eyes for a second, and opened them. It was pitch black.

There's a section of hell reserved for those who don't belong. For me. This was it. This was hell.

I began hearing voices. I heard Max. Gazzy. Fang. Nudge, Angel, and Dr. Martinez. Jeb. I heard Ella. At these voices, I screamed and strained against my shackles. They dug deeply into my flesh, but I was so far gone into the pain, I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered except those voices. I occasionally yelled things; the ravings of a mad lunatic. The pain drove me crazy. Sometime, the pain of the new shards on my body began to become so insignificant I couldn't feel it. I didn't notice so much the blood, flowing everywhere from the glass. I really didn't feel the emotional hurt of the voices as much. The calmness overwhelmed me. I closed my eyes, and nothing in the world existed after that.

Peace had come. St. Peter was welcoming me to his golden gates.

Either that, or Dr. Martinez had come with her morphine. As I soon found out, I was, in fact, strapped down. Not by ice and glass, but good ol' Velcro. However, the torture was real.

I opened my eyes, on an exam table, to a grey, lifeless world. I looked around and saw Max and Gazzy, asleep in a couple chairs. Most of the room was white, with tiled linoleum floor, painted brick walls, and a dark exam light above my head. I had many, many cuts, slices, and gashes covering my body. I was wearing only my cut-up, torn, well-worn jeans. I blinked, and it all went black.

"Release me!" I demanded, causing Max and Gazzy to jump, sending the chairs skidding. I heard their footsteps dash over to me. I felt their breath on my skin.

"Iggy!" the Gasman shouted joyfully. What was he trying to do? Deafen me?

"You heard me! Release me!" I shouted again, tensing all my strength against the straps. I broke the Velcro hold on my hands and arms. I grabbed Max's shirt, pulling her closer. "You will go find your mother, and then you will release me. You will not keep me here, you will not subject me to this _torture_," I whispered vehemently. "I cannot be contained. I am dangerous. When you let me go, I will personally kill every one of you with my bare hands." I threatened, the devil possessing my soul. Normally, I would not do this. My torture had broken my mind, driven my hatred to the extreme. I was like a caged, captured, taunted wolf, driven crazy. Normally I am good-natured. Normally, I make jokes. Normally, I would not be strapped down to a table and tortured. Normally, I would not be metaphorically looking at the flock with bloodlust in my eyes. However, this wasn't normally. This was anything but.

I was irrational. Confrontational. I could get away with murder.

"Iggy, I understand that you're upset about Ella, but you didn't have to kill yourself. You don't have to hate us. Iggy!" Max had started consoling me, but I had flung her against the wall. I heard her breath leave her body with a "whoomph!" Just then, I also heard the rapid clicks of Dr. Martinez's high heels running down the hallway. No doubt to sedate me.

"James!" a sharp voice reprimanded me.

"I'm not James. I'm Iggy." I growled, turning my head toward where Dr. Martinez undoubtedly stood, syringe of morphine ready, trying to get me under control.

"I'm sorry, Iggy. I have to. Once you calm down and the morphine takes action, I'll explain everything." She forced my arms down and strapped the Velcro again. I struggled against the morphine, now taking effect. My chest heaved with the effort, but in the end, it won out. "Iggy. You committed suicide for an unknown cause. The flock, Ella and I went out looking for you. We searched all the way to the Colorado River, where Ella found you on the bank. You were covered in multiple knifelike slashes, and many smaller, but still serious cuts. You were completely dead. You had no pulse." She paused and let her words sink in.

"Mom—" Max said, but was cut off.

"We took you back to the clinic. I jump-started your heart. For a moment, nothing happened. Fang was there. He actually cried. Can you imagine: Fang cried over you, Iggy. The flock loves you. Once your heart was beating, you started convulsing violently. Your muscles were seizing up, coming back front the dead. The pain you must have experienced was the blood flowing back into your tissues. I strapped you down when you accidentally grabbed Nudge and threw her into the wall. She had a broken rib from that. You're OK now, Iggy. Just calm down."

I came to fully understand what she said. Just before the rage gripped my heart, that is.


	6. Morphine and Sugar

**-Chapter 6**

What happened next passed in a series of blinding, white and grey images. I had no control over my body. My mind rebelled against it, but my body was not me. I was Iggy, it was a savage. I vaguely remember the flock rushing in as I ripped all the Velcro and leaped up. Gazzy and Nudge grabbed my arms to try to hold me down. I threw them against the walls where they hit with resounding thuds and stayed there. Max and Fang grabbed me, and tackled me to the floor. Angel backed out of the scene quickly, staying with Gazzy and Nudge. I remembered the Savage that was my body threw punches, and hit Fang in the jaw. I grabbed Max and threw her into Dr. Martinez. Fang alone was left standing. The Savage leaped, and it hit him with its shoulder, throwing him to the ground. I heard quiet footsteps behind me, stabbing pain in my lower back, and it all disappeared in a flash. Just like that.

I awoke again to blinding pain, and worried faces. The one that struck me the most was Jeb. He was bent over me. I wasn't strapped onto a table anymore. I was in a chair. I wasn't strapped in either. I was just there in a chair. What also struck me is that I could see. Is there some funky-doodle thing going on that every time I get knocked out, I can see when I wake up again? What's with that?

"Iggy? Are you okay? Are you angry?" Jeb asked slowly. I blinked and shook my head. There went the colorblindness. Now it was just blindness.

"No. Should I be angry?" I asked, bewildered as I heard angry hisses of breath from the flock.

"No, you just attacked the flock and Valencia like a savage. Why did you do it? You almost fractured Fang's skull, and broke both Gazzy's arms. Why, Iggy, _why_?" he pressed.

"I-I don't know," I said, shaking my head again. "I just felt this awful anger, like I wanted to kill everybody I saw. I had no control over myself. It was like I was stuck in somebody else's body. Honestly!" I held up my hands as I heard shocked and vengeful mutterings front the flock again.

"So you're not angry at anybody?" Jeb asked again.

"NO. I said it the first time. _Why should I be angry_? Do you want me to be?" I asked, starting to get annoyed at his persistent questions.

"Someone was tainting your morphine with a drug that causes uncontrollable rage. I didn't give you morphine. I injected you with a tranquilizer usually used on wild lions." He said, the words _wild lions_ carried more weight than usual.

"You mean the only thing powerful enough to take me down was _lion tranquilizer_?" I asked, my eyebrows shooting up.

"Yeah. The way you were fighting wasn't too far off from a wild lion either . . ." Fang said, and I could practically see him rubbing his jaw where I had punched him.

"Guys, I'm so sorry!" I yelled, pulling all them into a bear hug. I heard Nudge giggle.

So we all made up and there was a lot of hugging and crying (on the girls' part), and Fang even admitted himself that he cried when they brought me in and I was dead. When he said that, I tried to keep my face straight, but my sides were about to burst with laughter at the idea of _Fang_ crying. I just let go. I was laughing maniacally, rocking back and forth, clutching my sides as tears of laughter streamed down my cheeks. When I finally calmed down enough, I could see again. Fang was glaring at me with a dark scowl, and Gazzy was shaking with barely suppressed laughter. Nudge was smiling and for once silent, and Angel was sitting in Max's lap, giggling quietly. Max was smiling at the look on Fang's face. I blinked and it went. I didn't see Jeb or Dr. Martinez, so I assumed they had let the flock have some catch-up time.

"That's the last time _I _show any more emotion. When I do, I get laughed at." Fang said very quietly, so only I could hear. I grimaced at him.

"So who do you think put the drug in your morphine, Iggy?" Max asked. I angled my head down to the floor. I took a while before answering carefully.

"I don't know for sure," I said slowly, "but I think it might have been the School's people. Maybe they wanted to get rid of the flock using me as a weapon," I said, my words greeted by shocked silence on the flock's part.

"You really think so?" Nudge asked, her voice thin.

"I don't know. I just know that the School wants us dead, and they're desperate." I said, once again choosing my answer with precise care.

"Ig, how do you know all this? Nobody knows this, even Angel." Gazzy said.

"Never give Nudge Pixi Stix." Fang said, making all the flock jump.

"Ex_cuse_ me? What did you say?" Max asked, shocked.

"I said, never give Nudge Pixi Stix. They're pure sugar. She'd be talking nonstop for 48 hours." Fang answered. I had a feeling something was going to surface in a second. Something small and tube like – a wrapper of some sorts was going to fall out of Fang's hand. I just knew. Don't ask me why.

"Hey, what's that?" Gazzy asked.

"It looks like a tube . . . it says Pixi Stix on it . . . Fang? Where did you get this . . . ?" Max asked, cautious.

"I picked it up at Dr. Martinez's house. It was in the pantry. Angel dared me to eat it." Fang said. He was becoming more and chattier as the minutes wore on. Wait—he said it was pure sugar, right? Oh god . . . Fang was having a sugar rush.


	7. First Good Fight In Forever

**Chapter 7**

When I finally flew home with the flock, I was feeling happy and enlightened. Fang was babbling like Nudge. It was almost disturbing. Max had put me in between her and Fang, so my left ear was now being assaulted with Nudge-like chatter in both consistency and irrelevancy. Fang finally quashed my mood when he started up on the topic of me and Ella.

"Fang, shut the bloody hell up!" I yelled over at him. My vision chose this moment to appear, in grayscale. He looked at me, shocked, like I was a freak, and started describing the landscape beneath him. I groaned and Max shot me a "sorry-it-was-me-or-you" look that I suppose was intended to be sympathetic. I rolled my eyes as my vision faded out and dropped back, letting Max have full blast of Fang's meaningless talk. I snickered as I almost saw the angry, "why-did-you-do-that" look Max probably threw back to me over her shoulder and beating wings. Just then, I realized when I got home, Ella would be in tears. I knew this, for sure, but I didn't know _how_ I knew it.

When we touched down in front of the Martinez's house I wasn't all too enthusiastic to confront Ella's tears and accusations that I knew she had lined up and planned for me. I heard the front door open, and Ella's light steps come flying toward me.

"Iggy!" she shouted, except I couldn't tell if it was angry or joyous. Angry. "You should control your anger, you no-good, violent—" her next words were smothered by my kiss. She struggled against me for a second, beating my arms with her fists. Then she let me kiss her and actually kissed me back. I heard the "aww"s and "ohh"s as the flock and Dr. Martinez watched us. I let her go and then pulled her into one of my huge bear hugs.

"I'm so sorry I lost my temper. It was my fault I threw myself into that river, knowing full well it would cause all you pain. I did it because I was being selfish and thinking not of others, of the ones I truly love, but just of me. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to attack your mom or the flock. When your mom gave me morphine, someone had put a drug in it that induced rage. I couldn't control it. I'm still really, really sorry about any pain I caused you," I whispered to Ella, so only she could hear. She told me she heard me by squeezing my chest a little.

When I released my hold on Ella, all the others were gone.

"To give us some private time," Ella said when she saw my expression of trying to listen for other people. I nodded. I was listening for other people—other people that I heard, and knew were there. I felt it a second before it happened. I pulled Ella up into my arms and ran into the house just as a heavy hand whistled through the air where Ella had stood a second ago. I bolted the door, not that that would keep the Erasers out for long.

"There are winged Erasers outside! About ten! Ari's with them! Get to a safe place!" I yelled. My vision opened up, to see the confused faces of the flock. Then it closed. I felt that the Erasers would come through the kitchen window. "Away from the window. Now! The Erasers are coming through there!" I shouted. I heard them scramble away from the glass, just as it burst into the kitchen with a roar. I pelted down the hall, through the glass back door with Ella still in my arms. I took off, unfurling my wings and leaping up into the sky. I heard Angel scream, her wings beating frantically. "Get Angel!" I yelled to Max.

I felt the Erasers take off in pursuit seconds before Gazzy yelled,

"They're flying!"

"Who has Dr. Martinez?" I yelled back to the flock.

"Me and Max do!" Fang shouted back, all traces of the sugar rush replaced by battle adrenaline.

"Gasser! Pick up the pace! Swerve left and drop down low!" I shouted to Gazzy as I felt the moves the Erasers would execute to grab the Gasman.

"Iggy? What the hell? You have a sixth sense!" Ella yelled, even though she was in my arms.

"Yeah, I guess I do," I replied tersely. I was concentrating on yelling evasive maneuvers to the flock as I felt the Eraser's plans. I suddenly felt a clear space beneath us. "Land! We can't fly forever! We have to fight them!" I yelled and dropped altitude sharply. Ella clung to me, scared that I would drop her. I came to a running landing, hearing the heavy thuds of the flock behind me. I dropped Ella.

"Ella! Mom! Climb a tree and hide!" Max yelled. The huge thuds as the Erasers landed were conveyed to me through the shaking ground.

"Using the drug didn't destroy the flock, so we were sent to finish the job . . . and enjoy it." Ari growled. He was going to swing for my head. After all, I'm the blind guy. I ducked and swung my leg, knocking Ari to the ground. I leaped backward into another Eraser as one lunged for me. The Eraser I fell into fell over, and Fang was going to jump on it and break its neck. The Eraser that lunged for me was going to grab my arm. I spun out of the way, but his claws caught me, ripping three bloody furrows in my bare chest. They burned like hell's fire, but I kept fighting.

I couldn't die, not this time. I couldn't die, not for Ella, not for the flock. I swung a hard punch, adrenaline lending me strength. I felt bone give way beneath my knuckles. I felt an Eraser coming up behind me. I kicked backwards like a horse and heard a pop as I dislocated it kneecap. It groaned, but kept limping for me. I felt Gazzy leap for it, and knew it was a goner. I turned back toward the Eraser I punched and grabbed its head. I twisted violently and snapped its neck. I kicked its body out of the way. There were three Erasers left fighting, including Ari, who was locked in fierce hand-to-hand combat with Max. I took off into the air, hitting an Eraser with my wing and knocking him unconscious from the force of the blow.

Once I was a decent twenty or so feet up, I tucked my wings and rocketed down, smashing my feet into the last non-Ari Eraser. The impact shattered his skull and consequently splattered my face and chest in blood. The Eraser I knocked unconscious woke up again and went to leap at me, roaring, but I punched it in the face before it could get to me. It swung both its fists, hitting me in the chin and throwing me backwards where my right temple smashed against a rock.

I felt blood flowing from my temple, chin, and chest, and I felt the pain of all it telling me, "no more," but I had to finish the Eraser. I leaped up and stars swam across the field of blackness. I kicked its kneecaps out and then kneed it in the chin, effectively breaking its jaw and neck. Max took out Ari at the same time I collapsed, exhausted, onto a low-hanging tree branch, panting. The flock came and leaned against the tree beside me. I heard Ella and Dr. Martinez jump down from their hiding spot across the bloody, Eraser-strewn clearing.

We were all worn out from the fight, and all breathing heavily.

"OH MY GOD," Ella said, horrified.

"They wanted to all kill you?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"Yeah. Those Erasers were created for the express purpose of tracking and killing us. See their wings? They were meant so they could follow us. It's a brutal situation: kill or be killed." Max said grimly. My vision flickered for a moment, and showed me Dr. Martinez and Ella standing in front of the blood-splattered, grim, battered flock. That was strange because since I was colorblind, the blood showed up almost black, like chocolate syrup. I looked down at myself, and the full extent of my injuries was shown. The three claw marks across my chest were bleeding profusely, and looked a lot deeper than what I initially thought.

"Oh, Iggy! You're hurt! Oh my god, it's bleeding!" Ella said, hand over her mouth, eyes as wide as saucers.

"Nothing I can't deal with. I'm fine."

"Let's get up and away before more Erasers come," Max said, glancing at the sky before picking her mom up and unfurling her wings. She took a running start and pumped hard gaining altitude. I grabbed Ella, holding her away from the blood, and jumped up after Max. My vision blacked out and I felt Fang brush past me, no doubt to help Max carry her mom. I heard Gazzy, Angel and Nudge flapping their wings behind me, and knew that they had taken off.

For some strange reason, although I was wounded, blind, and in pain, I felt happy and complete.

"Hold on tight," I said to Ella. I tucked my wings in and dropped down, and I felt Ella trying not to scream. I flared my wings and shot up again, borrowing some of Max's super speed.

"Whoa," Ella said, breathless. "That was better than a Disney ride," She was clinging to my neck so tightly, it was starting to hurt.

"Just another day on the job when you're a mutant bird kid," I joked.


	8. Rainbow

**Chapter 8**

Well, we were all back at Dr. Martinez's house, nobody was depressed, and nobody was on a sugar high. That was good news. Bad news was, the kitchen window and back doors were broken. Max and Fang helped Dr. Martinez patch the broken glass up with cardboard, at least until the handyman came. I was helping Dr. M come up with a likely story as to what happened to the glass.

"Um, a bear ran through the house?" I supplied, tapping the table with my fingers.

"No, Iggy, we live in Arizona. Bears live in north California. The nearest type of bear in this area is the zoo, and that's a long, long ways away. Something more relevant and plausible." She said, and I could imagine her with her chin in her hand, sighing.

"Why don't you tell him what really happened?" Gazzy said, popping up out of nowhere, bringing the distinct smell of gasoline with him. Wonder what he was burning now.

"Oh yeah, like the guy would totally accept a bunch of Erasers ran through the house. He'd think we're crazy." I said sarcastically, turning toward him.

"No, I mean that some crazy guy ran through the house. It'll make sense. He was attacking you and we all ran through the back door to get away." He explained. "OH MY GOD! Sorry about your lawn, Dr. M! Rather, your cactus!" Gazzy dashed away down the hall. I heard the back door slam shut and the faint odor of burned vegetation waft down the hallway.

"You know, Gazzy _does_ have a point," Dr. M pointed out. My vision flashed and showed her looking over my shoulder, where copious amounts of billowing black smoke could be seen through what was left of the glass door. I shook my head and looked back at the faux wood grain on the table. When I looked back up at Dr. M, it went black again. I sighed.

"Something wrong, Iggy?" Fang asked, almost making me jump. What was it with everybody coming up behind me today? Maybe it was the fact I was sitting with my back to the hall, but whatever.

"Nah, just my sight. I keep getting it back, colorblind, and I can see stuff for about two seconds, then it all goes black again. It's really annoying." I explained, rubbing my temples.

"Huh," Fang said. His footsteps came past me and went to the creaky pantry door. I heard the rustling of a wrapper.

"Could you grab me one of whatever you're eating?" I asked.

"Yeah," Fang said. "Up high," he said. I felt the food was going to come through the air and be caught at about ear height on my right. I caught it, and felt the wrapper. Mostly blue, with some red, and a bit of white. Crunch bar. I unwrapped it and bit into it, not really tasting the flavor so much as the sugar.

"I'm gonna go stretch my wings," I said. Fang grunted and Dr. M sighed. I came down the hallway and swung around the frame of Ella's door. "Knock, knock. Wanna come fly with me?" I asked.

"'Kay!" Ella chirped. I heard the crinkle of her windbreaker. She ran and jumped straight into my arms, and I felt her lilac jacket. I walked down the rest of the hallway, then realized we probably shouldn't go out the back door. I turned sharply and went into me and the Gasman's room. The window was open, and since it was facing the opposite direction of the backyard, the air was clear here.

I jumped out the window and took off from the sill, wings working powerfully to take me and Ella high into the sky. Once we had been flying for about three minutes, I heard Ella murmur into my neck, her breath warm on my skin.

"I love it when it's just the two of us,"

"Yeah. Max said we can stay here as long as we want, and your mom says that too." I replied. Here, flying across the warm, azure, Arizona sky with Ella in my arms, was where I wanted to be. Now and forever. I felt a gentle kiss on my cheek and I blushed.

I circled down and landed in the entrance to a small cave. I set Ella down and settled down next to her, wrapping us in my wings.

"You know, I've come to terms with my blindness," I said.

"Really? That's great!" Ella said, with another kiss to my cheek. She snuggled up against my side.

"Yeah. Have you ever done that chromatography thing where you take a black marker and put it on a piece of special paper, then dip it in water?" I felt Ella nod against my ribs. "well, that black turns into a whole rainbow of colors, right? I've decided that no matter how black my sight gets, I'll always have that rainbow of colors, and I have to remember that. Sometimes, you have to help me see that rainbow," I said. I leaned down and kissed her full on the lips.

She kissed me back, and right there, I knew that I was in the best place in the world, kissing Ella, the girl I loved truly, in this black rainbow world.


End file.
